Why can’t you be more like your brother, the yam?

Pachyrhizus erosus, xicamatl, the Mexican Potato.  Really, whatever you call it, it’s still worthless.  Whose idea was jicama, anyways?  You just know an all powerful being (let’s call it “god”) wouldn’t have bothered to make something so useless.  No protein, no calcium, no Vitamin A. No calories from fat, practically no calories at all, in fact, so it won’t save me if I’m lost and slowly starving to death in the wilderness.  No sodium or cholesterol, so essentially no flavor and no way to market it to the American public.  Did Mother Nature screw up, or what?  I can hear the other vegetables laughing at jicama.  (Even the celery. Yeah.)  Besides being – somehow – blander than water, jicama takes disappointment a step further.  It tries to kill you.  Oh that’s right.  Excluding the root, the jicama plant is extremely poisonous.  There’s rotenone in them thar leaves.  Jicama… what an utterly useless thing.  Like drunken frat boys (sorry to be repetitive), it adds absolutely nothing to society or the ecosystem yet somehow manages to reproduce itself.  Funny old world, isn’t it.